Ray Schenkel
by HarleyD
Summary: Takes place after the episode Demons in which Elliot goes undercover as a sex offender named Mac Its about how Elliot is adjustingor not adjusting, in a round about way. Rated for later chapters. NC, Angst


Title: Ray Schenkel

Fandom: L&O SVU

Rating: Right now its sadly at what is probably a G rating. It will eventually go up as more things about Ray (and Ray and Elliot) become revealed.

Summary: Takes place after the episode Demons (in which Elliot goes undercover as a sex offender named Mac) Its about how Elliot is adjusting, in a round about way.

Warnings: Descriptions of N/C, and dealing with some aftermath of that.

A/N: this is a WIP, normally I don't post until the story is complete but I'm still feeling this one out. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: They are not mine. Elliot isn't mine, Mac isn't mine, not even Ray Schenkel is mine. Maybe the post-it-note on Ray's file. Yea, that's mine.

* * *

Elliot wasn't alright.

Everyone on the squad knew that something was wrong; Elliot had been on edge, losing his temper even more than usual.

Everyone had shrugged it off as normal behavior for the man, but Olivia knew that there was something more to it than Stabler's hard ass personality. She knew him better than anyone else but really she knew something was off because she had seen him leave the bunk room, eyes suspiciously red looking and puffy.

It didn't get better after the first few weeks, though to the rest of the squad it seemed to. Elliot settled into his work, he seemed to calm his temper and had it firmly under control again. But Olivia could see that something still didn't quite match up, something in Elliot's eyes that hadn't been the same since before… since before Ray Schenkel.

* * *

The days move closer and closer to Ray's trial and though everyone else doesn't think anything of it she counts down the days like waiting for a disaster to strike. 

Elliot seems fine though, he doesn't seem to be getting more stressed as the days tick down, though she can't actually be sure that she has ever seen him in the same room when the case is discussed. She also knows that Ray's case is still on the corner of Elliot's desk, still untouched with the exception of a post-it-note that had appeared the day it was placed there, covering the name on the file.

"Elliot."

He glanced up from his desk barely catching her eyes before he looked back down to the paper in front of him, the paper he wasn't really reading. "Yea?"

He rarely met anyone's eyes for more than a few seconds, and she often wondered what it was he feared others would see.

"You wanna go grab something to eat?"

"No thanks, there's a lot of work to get done."

"Elliot-"

He looked up longer than she had seen him in awhile as the corner of his mouth turned down, "I'm not hungry Olivia." He tried to force a friendly smile, "but thanks."

There was the recently familiar tension in the room, twining around the one thing that she knew she couldn't say. That no one would say.

_Ray Schenkel._

She was already out the door and half way to her car when she made the decision to turn back and force him to talk about what had happened, something beyond the facts that went in the case file. She reached the door and opened her mouth to speak and was met with Elliot facing away from her at the desk, head in his hands.

He wasn't crying, she knew it in her gut, but at the same time she knew it was something so much deeper going on, the back of his head tilted down saying more than words ever could.

She almost said what painfully needed to be said but in the end she turned and left him to his thoughts. She just wishes he would let her help him, let her know what he was thinking. Confide in her about, well,

about Ray.

* * *

He's not stupid. He knows that people sometimes make that assumption cause he's big and he's aggressive and he doesn't look like he should be smart, but he knows enough to know what Olivia is trying to do. 

He watches her leave, thankful that she hadn't tried again after coming back. It isn't something that he wants to talk about, that he wants to _think_ about, it isn't something that he wants to admit happened. He wants to think that Ray never existed, and more importantly he wants to believe that Mac never did either.

Because really – both are equally frightening to Elliot, and if he had a choice in it he would rather never face either of them again. But he knows he is going to have to – one at the trial the next day and one every night in the mirror.


End file.
